Drinking Delusions

I obtained the perfect level of intoxication last night. It was fantastic. I rarely drink, mostly because it is not that practical and I don't love the taste of any alcoholic beverage any more than I love just plain diet coke. But every once in a while, I enjoy gettin my booze on. And let's just be clear here, I am a booze drinker, not a beer drinker. It has to be pretty hot out and I have to be pretty bored or desperate to drink beer.

Anyway, so last night they had the annual "nut fry" (no almonds or cashews were fried - the other kind of nuts) in a neighboring town, so I went with a group of people, exclusively for the entertainment value. I did not consume any fried nuts. We had chartered the party bus (It's like a shuttle bus: airport-to-hotel sized.) so I had a Schmirnoff drink on the way to the nut fry. I had a couple of drinks and we moved on to the next bar (another Schmirnoff on the way there), where I had a half of a beer (desperate and trying to be social - green beer). Next bar, and I had some sips of my sister's cranberry & vodka and then half of some kind of green shot that tasted like melted chip mint ice cream (cream de menthe, peppermint schnapps and baileys, perhaps?). Reasonable amounts (five or six drinks) spread over seven hours. This adds up to the perfect drunk = buzzy but no hangover the next day.

I partied with Sahm, which was a blast. When I have obtained the perfect drunk, I get delusional. I am the hottest girl in the joint, who is suddenly super thin and can eat fried cheese at any hour (say, 2 a.m., for example) with the best singing voice and I am the most hilarious as well. I find people who I swear are going to be someone important in my life, like my brother's future wife or my spouse's new business partner or my new best friend. Oh, and I am also the best dancer, unless Sahm is with me and then I am the second best dancer. Apparently, I am a fun but narcissistic drunk. You all want to party with me now, right? Well, get in line right behind me, myself and I. ha ha!!

Too bad alcohol is "empty calories"....