Registered

I signed myself up for a 5K "run/walk" in LeClaire, Iowa. It's taking place on August 14th, so I have about two weeks to prepare. I am now officially freaking out about that a little bit. I mean, I shouldn't because I have been running and all, but I live in flatsville and what if it is hilly there? I need to check out the topograpghy. Anyone have a good elevation relief map? I keep reassuring myself that it is a run/WALK kind of thing and there will be plenty of people walking, but I don't want to walk! I'm looking forward to another tee-shirt with huge sleeves to add to my collection of stuff I never wear.

By the way, who the hell is this woman who voluntarily signs up for running events where her siblings are not guilting her into participation?! Whodathunkit?...

Earned a Medal

Tonight I had to go to a potluck end-of-the-softball-season picnic. I had to take an entree and side dish or dessert. I went to the grocery store to pick up said items, and my softball player said, "I'm coming in with you or you'll get some healthy junk nobody will eat, like 90-calorie granola bars." I frowned and argued that I would get something she and her sister would like, so she stayed in the car. I went in and bought a box of chicken strips and two boxes of cookies. There you go, kid. Junk as requested. I also bought an apple.

I went to the potluck and put my items on the table, teeming with goulash, pizzas, garlic bread, baked beans, taco salad, various noodle salads dripping in dressing, and oh.. the desserts. A giant sheetcake pan of m&m bars, frosted cakes, cupcakes, homemade cookies, cheesecake, and the two boxes of cookies I brought.

I ate my apple.

After we went home, I ate one chicken strip and a lettuce salad.

I'll take my medal now and it needs to say this: "for valor in the face of a potluck - minus five pounds"

Oh, AND I avoided the breakroom today - rumor has it there were things in there called "Ho Ho bars."

Aaaaaaand.... nothing.

I ran five times last week, including twice where I pushed the distance to up over 2.5 miles. I ate healthy foods, though I did have two chocolate chip cookies (see posting below). And, I lost... nothing. Stayed the same. Apparently my body believes there is a famine and is saving all of my fat for survival purposes. Sigh.

Stressed Backwards is.....

Desserts. That's what it is. I have been doing really well this week until today. I ran extra today, so that was good. I was hummin along with my day and took my two kids to the public pool where one decided to be an ill-behaved booger. Grrr. Then got home and they decided to argue. GRRRR! I went to throw away the leftover donuts (my dad bought them two mornings ago - gee thanks, Dad) and chowed into one on the way to the garbage can. AARGH!

This evening, my younger child turned into the incredible Hulk, so that was fun. She was a child crazed and possessed, and I was a mother thoroughly frustrated. Then once that was settled, the older one decided to point her anxiety at me, so I spent time counseling there. THEN I had a test to do for school before RAGBRAI makes its way through here tomorrow (I'm hosting strangers in my home, so trying to keep everything clean) and before the school's computer system is down for a couple of days for some sort of upgrade. I worked my way for that thing, which was hard and brought out all of my feelings of inadequacy. I doused that with diet Coke and two chocolate chip cookies.

DAMN IT!!!!!

I Warned You

I am soooooooo pissed off!!! I lost one pound this week. One. That fucking sucks. I worked really hard and got little in return. That is not motivating. I am counting on some return to entice my brain to continue overriding it's habit of immediate survival (eat, damnit!) and go with longer-term goals (eat sensibly, damnit!). I will not give up. It is worth it to lose a pound, rather than gain one or stay the same. I will step up my game if necessary. Grrrrrrrrr

Big Money No Whammies

Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I certainly have upped the exercise factor. I went on a bike ride this evening, thinking this would be leisurely but count as motion. Um, not so leisurely. I think my legs may be sore tomorrow, which will suck when I go running. I have been running further and feeling good about it until my sister mentions that she ran 8 miles today. Be-otch. I have been making good choices, well except for the DQ Blizzard on Saturday, but that damn Lampe bought it for me and it would be rude to let it melt by the pool in the 98 degree heat. I did swim for at least three hours that day. Otherwise it has been fish and chicken, veggies and all sorts of health foods. Lets all cross our fingers and hope this pays off on the scales tomorrow or i am gonna be pissed off.

Shattered Delusion

I have been working hard at this lifestyle change business. Like most people, I am impatient. I would like there to be a pill I take that makes me not have to struggle to make healthy choices. I would like for cookies to taste too sweet, or cake to give me terrible gas so I avoid it without much thought. I would like to NOT wish I had a Kit Kat bar when I see a jar of peanut butter. I say "like most people" because I know I am one of a big crowd in this wish. That's why people can make money being traveling hypnotists, selling "The Hollywood Cookie Diet" or some other juice or shake or pill thing that makes quick-fix promises. If any of that worked, nobody would be obese. Nope, instead I have to just make a pledge for today or for this moment that I am going to make healthy choices.

Vegetables. I have friends who eat a lot of vegetables and they seem to maintain a healthy frame. I do not know what my deal is with vegetables. I used to dislike most of them. As a kid I don't think I ate much outside of a green bean or corn. Now, I enjoy lettuce, spinach cauliflower, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, beans of all natures, peas, squash, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, etc. etc. Now, with that big variety of choosings, you would think it would be ok for me to fit some of those in at least twice per day. But I do not, as a rule. Vegetables have a tendency to get rotten in my fridge. I keep buying them, too. So, this is one of the changes I have in mind for this lifestyle makeover - "eat your veggies." I have no delusion going that someday I'll prefer vegetables over carbs, but still...

So, I have let go of my delusion that a healthy body will just naturally be mine, that I can eat what I want and not gain weight (still resentful about that one), and that there is a quick and easy way to make the needed changes here. Also, I ran again today and have let go of the crazy thought that I will be ready for a half marathon in September. Maybe a 5K, but not a half marathon. Turns out I was right in suspecting myself crazy on that one.

Biggest Loser

I joined the "Biggest Loser" contest at work. There is money on the line, here. Obviously I am grasping at straws. I did get up and run again, and plan to continue that. I also put a cap on the feed bag.

Everyone else in my family seems to have adopted this thing they call "lifestyle change" where they watch what they eat and make exercise a regular part of their life, not just a weight-loss effort. Hmmm. The exercise part seems pretty key, too. So, I guess I will have to get on that train and stay on it. This roller coaster ride is getting old.

There are people in the world who can eat whatever they want and not seem to gain a pound (freaks of nature). After months of trying, I have concluded that I am not one of them. I was hoping to join that club but they won't let me past the doors with this butt. Damn it.

Not Last, but Nuts

Well, I did the Ride Run again this year. I woke up hoping it was raining with thunder and lightening. No such luck. But, it did manage to rain at about mile marker 4 and continued all the way through the rest of the 12 mile course. Soggy shoes suck. But, as always, I'm glad that I did it. We did not come in last place.

The whole thing has me a bit bonkers because now I am tempted to train for the half marathon happening in September. Say what?!! I could try the relay version where you split the thing with a partner. That's still over 6 miles of consecutive running. You do one mile of running at a time and suddenly you think you can run 6? Girl, you crazy.