My Jeans are Loud

Ok, I'm back to complain about something. Were you all alarmed at the positive tone of the last entry? Never fear, I can always find something to complain about with witty sarcasm. My jeans are loud. Not like "bright, flashy" kind of loud, but like "I can hear them" loud. Whenever I put on my jeans, I have to do that calesthenic routine of deep knee bends, squats, and lunges to avoid the sausage casing look. And sometimes I resort to unbuttoning them and shoving my fist and arm down the side of my leg to pull outward to make room for my thunder thighs. This is the most depressing workout ever, I tell you. Well, I was in my normal jean warm-up the other day, noticing the seams straining to hang on and actually listened and heard the creaking of the fabric and stitching. Wow. Like my jeans are complaining, "Good gravy, buy a bigger size and quit trying to stretch me into submission. Oohhh, errrrrgh, rhaaaaaaah." and so forth and so on. I was tempted to yell at them, "Shut up, stupid jeans! It's just as much your fault for shrinking in the dryer!" but I thought that would make me sound crazy so I just blogged about it instead....which maybe has the same effect.... dumb jeans.