NOT a Cookie

Scones are not cookies, right? That's what I am telling myself. It had whole blueberries in it, so that is healthy, right? What was that goal? Something about cutting out unnecessary sweets? I think this one is totally necessary. It's breakfast! The most important meal of the day. And it was homemade - no high fructose corn syrup in sight. Good, we all agree this was a healthy way to start my day.

Boo-hiss, Hooray!!

Well, I didn't get out of bed AGAIN this morning. That's one day out of four. I am a slug. But, I also was up until midnight, which is dumb when I am thinking I'll get up in five hours. Five hours of sleep is simply not enough for me. So, crap.

However, I have worked out three out of three days early this week and then today I'll see what I can do for some sort of home workout. Perhaps I'll pop in Elle MacPherson's "Personal Best" which has some toning stuff in it. I want to buy the Dancing With the Stars workout video and see if that is worthwhile. Can you rent those anywhere? You know, try before you buy??

Spell Check

By the way, did any of you catch my agregious grammar error in the bathroom posting? Good grief. Spell check doesn't catch those things, and I was tired when typing. Don't type when sleepy. It leads to errors.

Ha ha! Now you are all going to comb through that post to see if you can find the error (unless you were really observant and caught it the first time through). Hint: it's in the second paragraph

Hair vs Ass; Round 2

Today I got my hair colored and cut and styled. I love getting my hair done. It is very pampering and relaxing and all of those good things. Though, today some complete stranger walked in to the salon as I was in the middle of getting my hair colored (tinfoil strips all hangin in there and gunk up next to my scalp to cover the gray babies) and walked over to me and said, "Love your hairdo." She then snickered and dropped off whatever she was dropping off and left. I know she was trying to be clever, but... uh, ok, whatever lady.

Anyway, I got all beautified and went back to work where many people oohed and aahed over my fun flippy curls and glamorous lowlights. Yay! They like me! They really like me! Or, at least my hair. AND, as I was finishing at the salon, my fantastic cosmetologist said, "You know, you could probably get two days out of this style." Ooh, I could look pretty two days in a row?! How great! Oh... wait....EXERCISE.

I could get two days out of the style if I went home and slept and got up and did some touch-ups and voila. However, if I am going to continue on the exercise roll I have going, then I would have to go to Zumba after work today (cuz I overslept again), AND work out tomorrow morning and I would definitely then have to wash my hair and wreck her fine handiwork. Oooh, so you can see my delema. I paid good money for my moment of pretty hair, and my exercise will ruin it. What to do?!!

I went to Zumba. Hooray for my ass!

MORE Bathroom Humor

Just when you thought I was out of bathroom humor.... nope!! Another fun bathroom incident to share willingly with the public. I have no shame or humility or pride or whatever it is that keeps normal people from telling the world about their funny bathroom escapades.

Yesterday I took my two girls to Mason City to go shopping. We had a very nice time, until the younger one started getting sick and we had to go home. Even then, we had a nice time cuz really we had accomplished pretty much all of what I had hoped to do, so no biggie that we were leaving. We got about 15 miles down the road when the sick child decides she needs to go to the bathroom, pronto. Luckily there was a Casey's just about two blocks away, and I ducked in their quickly as she is whining and doing the pee-pee dance with her feverishly flushed cheeks and droopy eyelids looking pathetically at me. I dash with her back to the bathrooms, and the women's door is... locked. Damn!

I am not ok with her having an accident, so I checked the men's room door while the child was protesting, "But Mom, that's the boy's room!!" The door was unlocked, so I told her that a bathroom is a bathroom and proceded to open the door, and SAW A MAN STANDING THERE PEEING! A side shot of the full monte. Fantastic. I suppressed a yelp, and quickly closed the door, and then took the child for a lap around the store, praying that the dude did not come out of that bathroom, all the while cursing him in my head for not locking the door. There is only one toilet in there! Lock the darn door!! Luckily, the girl's room opened up and the child was able to go to the bathroom and then we high tailed it out of there with me trying really hard not to look at any of the guys in the store.

Sheesh. So, men out there... LOCK THE DOOR!!! Some desperate mother might just bust in on you if you don't.

Second Chances

I went to Zumba, as promised, and enjoyed it. It was still a little bit skittish, but better structured than the last time. Plus, there are sort of "free for all" stretches, where many people sort of plant their feet and bop around to the music. I used that opportunity to run in place or jump or do some really deep squats - feel the burn, and all of that cliche junk. But, I got a good workout. I would do it again.

As far as sweets, well, I foiled that one right off the bat because we have cookies from the cookie place in Mason City, so I ate a monster cookie for breakfast along with my banana. hey! There is oatmeal in that thing, plus I rationalized that a cookie has about the same calories as a meal, so... it's ok? I ate a sandwich and 100-calorie package of Lorna Doone's (cookies!) for lunch, but that's a reasonable amount, right? It's ok? And THEN my darn brother-in-law bought chocolates from some random soliciting person supporting some random club or cause or FFA thing, AND ran around at our mutual worksite offering them up to me (and it's rude to refuse). So, count in today's consumption: one chocolate teddy bear with peanut butter guts, and two chocolate apples with carmel filling. These were roughly the size of a Hershey's minature chocolate. I had a couple of baby carrots, a low-carb wrap with turkey, ham and roast beef with provoloe, and a dish of fresh pineapple for dinner. And I had no more food this evening.

So much for "no more sweets" but I will try again tomorrow. Or I will eat an oatmeal raisin cookie for breakfast and rationalize that it has oatmeal AND fruit, so is obviously a healthy choice. I am hopeless!!

Reasonable Reasons

Well, I missed my morning workout AGAIN, darn it! I have another good excuse (like last week when I did not set my alarm on Friday, and turned it off instead of snooze last Wednesday). My six-year-old child came down with some sort of flu yesterday and was awake EVERY HOUR of the night, and therefor so was I. I also am catching a cold and my head is about 3/4 full of goo. I'm not letting that last one stop me though, cuz I brought my workout clothing to go to Zumba after work. I'm giving that class another try.

Lisa, be ready for interval training tomorrow morning! I WILL (must!) get back on track with this workout schedule. Also, this week I am banning daily sweets. Bring on the fruits and veggies. I have three weeks until I go shopping for some Spring/Summer clothing, and I really want to lose five pounds. I know that sounds trivial, but it makes a difference in the size I wear!

Wierdo Art Commercial

Have you all seen the commercials about financial planning or something like that? They are the ones where the people in the commercial who are talking about financial planning are all cartoonized in weirdo art form. They creep me out. I never want to see myself drawin like that.

Oh, and I also DESPISE the new Burger King commercials with the square butts thing and Sir Mixalot. Wow, Sir Mix.

Tramp

I did end up getting a little bit of exercise yesterday... on my sister's trampoline! It was fun, and I am taking a friend with me today over our noon hour to jump on the tramp.

Really, I only posted this so I could use the title "Tramp" and make you all think I was going to write something dishy and salacious. ha ha ha ha ha!!

Golf Season Opens

I golfed yesterday; my first outing of the season. I am so grateful to be golfing with women who have similar golfing styles - hit the ball, then hit another one if that one didn't go far enough, or just pick it up and chuck it out on the green if it is in the rough. I have yet to figure out why there are so many darn clubs, and I only use one of them with any sort of proficiency (my pitching wedge).

I need lessons. In theory, if I could golf with any sort of skill, I could golf with my spouse. And we could golf with other couples and it would be a fun thing we could do from now until we can't swing clubs any more. In theory...

Also, I golfed my usual 5 holes and had a cocktail, then went to the clubhouse for dinner, where I ate too much grease. Next week, I will tackle a change in eating habits.

Note From My Mom

"Please excuse Mia for missing her workout this morning. She had a big test last night and was dazed and confused enough to hit the "off" button on her alarm instead of "snooze." I believe she has learned her lesson and feels sufficiently terrible about missing class today, and will do makeup workouts somewhere along the line this week."

I Broke My Legs

Not really.. don't be alarmed. But last night I asked my brother to offer up a lower-body workout routine and today I took my little notes to the gym where Lisa and I suffered through it. You should have seen us after our workout, going down the stairs!! We were both glad for handrails and laughing out loud at ourselves all the painful way down. I was not sure my legs were going to hold me up! We'll see how they are tomorrow.

Dog or No?

I think that I mentioned that my dog passed away this past October. I loved her dearly, and I miss her a lot. I especially miss her when I go for a jog, cuz she loved to go and I feel badly that for much of her life I was a lazy slob and did not take her for many walks.

I was going to get a new dog for Christmas, and even drove halfway to the shelter to pick up said puppy, but then turned around cuz I was crying too much. Not ready. My kids very much want a new dog, and talk about it every now and then. I am still not sure I am ready. And part of this is because I know how much work a puppy is, and then all of the work that goes into dog ownership in terms of going out of town and all of that. This, especially given that my older child is going to be in softball and we'll be out and at games. Sigh. What to do???

How Mia Got Her Groove Back

I did it AGAIN! I got up and was at the gym at 5:30 a.m. Can you believe that? I sure can't. And I intend to continue this behavior until it becomes a habit. Also, thank goodness Lisa is there. It's motivating to go when you know that someone else will notice when you skip. Lisa, I don't know how you did it all on your own with no workout buddy/hall monitor. Hats off to you, my friend.

All of this comes not a moment too soon, I tell you. I weighed in at 151 again this morning. Geez Louise! My pants are all pinchy and my gut is such that it is wanting to push my pants down UNDER its girth, like some dude with a beer gut. You've seen those guys, with the huge belly and a normal sounding pants size because their pants never attempt to contain their stomachs. Well, my pants are attempting and losing the battle. I fight the war with belts or just routine hiking up of my britches, but I seem to be losing. So, I shall take up the sword of exercise and try to slay my foe, "Guttastrica" such that it will once again fit tamely within the bounds of my waistline. Wow, I went all dork-rific there with some renaissance festival kind of talk. Where'd that come from? Whatever. Anyway, it's me against the wub (short for waistline flub), and I intend to win.

As Meatloaf Says

Well, I went to the gym at 5:30 on Wed and Thurs and I set my alarm this morning, but did not go. Two outta three ain't bad, right? I did workout on Monday, so that's three workouts, and they day is not over yet. I could still get in a walk or jog, and I am going to commit to doing that. I am going to work out tomorrow, as well. Woo hoo!! Next week I am going to continue the early bird work. It's just craziness, but I feel good for the day and then there is no stress about WHEN to workout. Now, if I can get my hog out habits in check...

Snooty McSnoberson

Apparently, early mornings make me poetic. But, hey, I did it!! I got up and went to the gym at 5:30! This was quite a feat, because the cosmos was trying to align against me. I was going to go to bed early, but that was foiled by bills and needing to get my kid's birthday party invitations written and ready to send today. Then this kid got up three times in the middle of the night when she NEVER wakes up. What the?! Whatever, cosmos!!! I got up anyway, and am glad I did it. I may do it again tomorrow. The craziness continues!!

I went to a cardio class that was sort of intervals of cardio and toning. I got a good workout and was very sweaty, so that's good. The upper body part was punching, and since I have been doing Tae Bo and Turbokick, I feel like I know my stuff when it comes to punching form. Well, my snootyness reared its ugly head again when the instructor was leading upper cut punches and cueing it with "Scoop that on up!" Ahhhh!!!!! She was flopping her arm way back and then scooping her arm way up by her nose! My inner punching-form-nazi had a hard time not exclaiming out loud. So, I just punched the way I know to punch and kept on going. Also, they do punches in succession (like a jab, cross, hook, upper kind of combo) and I was having a hard time because I am so Turbo-trained that I can't stop rotating at the hip and turning on the ball of my foot, so my form looks WAY different than what everyone else is doing. I plan to keep going to class, so I'll just be a back row hider. I must be the most obnoxious class participant ever. Geez, lady, get over yourself already!

Ode to 5:30

Oh, 5:30 in the a.m.
Dark sleepy hour
and I am up with the moon and the birds.
What an odd combination: me, the moon, and the chirping.
And then there is the whirring of the bike chains,
the thudding of the feet on the treadmills,
And the lady who tells my sleepy feet to jump.

Ok, Lady. I'm up, I'm down, I'm up, I'm sweaty.
Me, the moon, the birds, the feet, the bike and this lady.
All at 5:30 a.m.

See you tomorrow.

Ok, Lisa...

You may all recall that I had thought that I would get up really early and work out. I have never done it (cuz I am a night owl!), but my friend, Lisa, is a regular early bird. My brother is getting used to getting up early to train people who work outside of their homes, and so it seems that a portion of fit and healthy people in the workforce are making time for this early in the morning. Sigh. Well, since I am doing HORRIBLY on my goals for a fit figure and summer is creeping towards me, I am going to meet Lisa on Wednesday morning and work out. Lisa swears I will feel better during the day if I do this. Uh huh. We'll see.

I did Turbokick today, and had a really good time. I miss Turbo, but not enough to do it at home. What?

Walk it Off

Man, am I grumpy!! I don't know what my deal is, either. I don't have anything to really be that grumpy about. My husband's birthday was yesterday and I got him a tee shirt and a dumb card. HE's the one who should be grumpy! Nope, it's me.

My younger child has a birthday on Saturday and I am not prepared. Perhaps this could be contributing to my foul mood. I don't know. Also, we are going to my inlaws' house this weekend. I am not packed, I have not thought about what to pack, and I don't want to pack. I am fat-tastic and have no clothing that I like, except for about two shirts and one pair of jeans. Grrr.

I had all of this festering in my frown this evening, and we have cupcakes leftover from my daughter's school "birthday treats." I ate one, of course. Then I had pizza for dinner. I was then ready to unleash a can of swears at myself. But, instead, I went for a two-mile walk. So there.

Zumba Snob

I took the new class last night and I had a really good time. I was thoroughly sweaty, so that is a good sign that I either got my heart rate up sufficiently or else the room was really hot due to the huge crowd of people. Anyway, it was latin dance moves! That's fun, right? Well, it would be, except that I am a Zumba Snob. The instructor is not that musical, as it turns out, and things that I hear in terms of 8-counts and natural progressions do not make that much sense to her. This drives me bonkers. Changing leads in the midst of a count, and having things be uneven on right and left sides, and then not following a regular pattern.... aiy carumba. Aren't I terrible and picky? I mean, I had fun and sweated a lot, so that should be good enough. Nope. Give me a rhythm and some coreography I can follow. And the real bummer is that I think I could LOVE that class if it were more like I think it SHOULD be (judgemental much?). Shoot.

An Ass Kicking

My brother has moved much closer to us, and I am so happy! As you all know, all three of my siblings are fitness instructors. Sigh. So, for at least two of them, I have now been the guinea pig for them to practice their craft. My brother is the latest to choose me out of the pool of guinea pigs and so I got to enjoy a training session yesterday.

Well, "enjoy" to some degree... The workout was good and my brother did a great job of giving me constructive feedback and lots of encouragement that made me feel good about myself and my workout, even though I know I am a total wuss and crazily out of shape; he made me feel like I had strength and was not too bad. Yet today my rear end is not enjoying a discomfort-free day. There are several other muscle groups that are a bit achey, but none complaining as loudly as my butt.

Tonight, I am going to try a new class at the Y - Zumba. Supposed to be latin dance and strength. We'll see which body parts are crying tomorrow...

Look at me go! Let's see how long this lasts.