Anonymous

I breezed through the blog today and noticed a new comment left by an anonymous "B" person. I was thrilled! Someone read this blog! Yay!

I started to respond in the comment section but realized it was long enough I could share it at large. First, it was left under the section about dress shopping, so that confused me a bit because I think B was responding to the blog as a whole.

B asked if I am on any meds and that perhaps this could be a factor in my weight. Good thinking, B. But I am not on any meds. None, zippo, zilch. Not even birth control or herbal supplements or Calcium (which I should really take). So, that's not a contributing factor.

Then B suggested that I find something that I "REALLY" enjoy doing. Another good suggestion. Here's the thing: I enjoy knitting, photography, writing, horseback riding, dancing, and reading. All but two of those are sedentary activities that will hardly burn the calories consumed in a celery stick. Horseback riding requires a horse, and I live in town. I think the neighbors would be annoyed if I had a horse in my back yard. Dancing - I could dance in my house by myself! I could, and sometimes do. I cannot really go dancing in public often because we have ONE place to dance in this town and it is kinda seedy, and of course it is a bar. Barriers, barriers. I know I could be successful if I can find a way to work around these barriers.

I have come to the conclusion that, with my life as it stands right now, I am going to have to continue to just do what I can to be active and to heck with enjoying it. Trying to do something I enjoy became a barrier in itself; a reason to do nothing and that does not work for me in the long run. I'll enjoy the end results and the way I feel when I am done, and that will be enough for me to continue. I'll try to find a way to dance or take a dance class, but the opportunity is rare and does not work into my schedule easily. I'm open to trying new things, as well. And I wonder if it is realistic to find exercise that one REALLY loves. Do you all have that? Am I missing out on something here? B, do you have that? What is it?

DJ Downer

As you all know, I went to the dinner/dance thing this past Saturday (check out my purple dress in the little slideshow of photos). I had a lot of fun, but if I am with my friends I could have a lot of fun in a dumpster behind a sea food restraunt. There are two formal dinner things in this town - Legacy Ball (which I attended this past Saturday) and Gala (the Catholic School's event that I have never attended in my three years of living here). Legacy Ball includes a dance and Gala does not. I love to dance! Yay for Legacy Ball!

Ok, but this year, and really every darn year, I am disappointed with the DJ at the dance. I am disappointed by DJs at almost every dance that I attend. Why do they play the same darn songs at every event? Are white people really that boring and unoriginal that they can only dance to a set playlist that has to include "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" and "Footloose?" Apprently, yes. I am really ok with some songs from the various eras of music being played at these things, because there are people from the various eras in attendance. But do they have to be the SAME songs from those eras??

Here are the songs I never want to hear at any more darn dances:

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights - Meatloaf
Footloose - Kenny Loggins
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
The Electric Slide, Cha-cha slide, Boot Scoot boogie, Cupid Shuffle, etc...
Pour Some Sugar On Me
Greese Medley
Old Time Rock and Roll

I'm sure you can add to the list....

Never Mind!

Wait!! I was incorrect! I passed the friggin test!!! Waaahooooooo!!!!!!!

Also, I weighed myself after two weeks of eating Halloween candy and the stupid number went down. What the....? Oh well. I'll take it.

I went to the Legacy Ball last night and had a great time. Life is good this week, my friends!

Failure and Defeat

I have been going to school for two years to get some crazy degree that I do not need, but might come in handy at my workplace. I believe I have complained about this in the past. I am an IDIOT for trying to do school while I work and have a family and a life (especially one that is trying to include healthy eating and exercise). Whatever. What's done is done.

I took a comprehensive test this evening over the entire two years of schooling and I got a 74%. Barf. Barf!!! I think I needed an 80% to pass. Triple barf! I have never flunked a test before. Never. And I have been going to school, off and on, for a whole lot of years, people. This is a horrible feeling. If I truly failed, which is likely, then I will have another opportunity (read: I will HAVE to put myself through torture) to take the test again in the Spring. I don't want to do it. But if I do not, I will not get the degree and then what was the damn point of going through the f-ing schooling?

Arrgh!! AND, I have been stress-eating like nobody's business in preparation for the test. I am like a train off its tracks. I quit doing the food journal and have been lucky to work out twice per week in those last two weeks. I am pretty damn sure I am gaining weight as a result. I bought a scale for my bathroom and am too afraid to get on the dumb thing. I feel defeated.

I will not end up defeated, mind you. No way. If I stayed in this mode I would need some sort of antidepressants. I will pick myself up, dust myself off and get my ass back on track. I have a dance to attend this weekend and I have a freshly applied spray tan and that is not going to waste. After that, I will start reading my school books so that by Spring there will be no possible way for me to fail another one of these awful tests.

Either that, or I will lay on the sofa, let my house get really messy, wear nothing but sweatpants and eat cake all day.