Me and My Bathroom Humor

I don't think I have subjected you all to bathroom humor yet, have I? Actually, come to think of it, I HAVE, because most of you are family and you've listened to that crap from me before (no pun intended). Well, for the other two of you or so, I am one who will willingly share when funny stuff happens to me in bathrooms. So, stop reading now if that kind of thing offends your sensibilities. Here's today's escapade:

As you all might recall, I routinely have a cup of coffee in the morning and this is rather effective at keeping my digestive system regular. Today I had my cup of coffee a bit late in the morning and was rushed at lunch time, so snarfed down a chicken sandwich and green bean casserole in the cafeteria. I am still burping up green bean casserole, but it was worth it - yum. But I digress... So about 30 minutes after my speed-lunch I was needing to use the facilities (if you get my drift). I found the most remote one possible, and one that I know has a can of de-stinkify spray in it. I completed my business and decided it was really worthy of a courtesy flush, so did so while my arss maintained the stink-barrier seal on the seat. I hate having to courtesy flush, because people have got to just "know" what you were doing in that public restroom. But it is better than stankin' up the joint and having people hit the invisible vapor line, sending them reeling. But I digress again... This toilet I was using has got the most powerful flushing mechanism known to man, and the water pressure was intense, causing a bidet-type situation and me sitting there with probably a really funny expression on my face. So, I'll just leave you all with that visual for today. You're welcome.