The Yays Have It?

I am perpetually confused by how to spell exclamations of joy, namely "Yay!" Is it "yay" or "yeah" or "yae" or "Ya"???? I spell it "yay" and I use "yeah" like this:

"Yeah, but I don't really enjoy the whole idea of hankies."

Or, "Hell, yeah, I want pie!"

So, which is it? Whose gonna look that up? Yay (or yeah or yae or whatever) for you!

Giving Myself High Five

The accolades continue! First, I'd like to publicly thank my spouse for polishing off the last of the pie in the refrigerator. One temptation down, one bag of unopened white chocolate and peppermint kisses left to go. At least they are unopened.

I'd also like to award myself the Anti-Breakroom Sheild for valor in the workplace today. I was HUNGRY this morning cuz I skipped breakfast (totally unintentional - just ran out of time) and my coffee was not cutting it. I wandered into the breakroom, remembering that there was public fruit in there last week and WHAT should be all over the table?? A smorgasborg (is that how you spell that?) of goodies, that's what! It was someone's birthday and they just went crazy with the treats - chocolate, pumpkin bread, chips, layered dip and other goodies that blinded my eyes and threatened hypnotic power over my brain. Not a banana in sight. I ran like sixty for my office, and was happy to find a clemantine and sugar-free jello hidden in my fridge. Not really a decent breakfast, but it was something non-junky. Way to go, me. (Imagine me giving myself a chuck on the shoulder.) What fantastic things have you all been up to? And, obviously, "fantastic" means anything even remotely healthy that most people could do in their sleep.

One Down, a Lifetime to Go

Hooray for me! I worked out today! Now, compared to what my siblings are used to, the workout was more like a warm-up, but it counts if you are in slug mode, as I have been. Wow, there were a lot of commas in that sentence. Can I get a period in there, please? Who's editing this blog?

Anyway, I got on my hamster wheel for 22 minutes, and then danced around my basement like a fool (but a fool having fun and burning calories). Also, I did lunges back and forth across the basement and then wall-sits for long enough for my thighs to burst into flames. Once I extinguished the flames, I added in some triceps presses with a 5 lb. weight. Wooo!! Look at me go!

I got a call from my brother this evening, and he asked what kinds of exercises I was planning to do. After approving of my initial list, he asked, "Are you going to lift weights?" Um, no. "Why not?" Um, I don't know. They're heavy. Apparently, he is advocating for weight lifting. So the 5 lb. weight use was in his honor, as was the wall sit.

I guess all that is left to do is continue this trend for the rest of my life. Not daunting at all.

The First (second, hundredth, whatever) Monday

Well, it's Monday again. I always start diets, er, healthy living, on Mondays. So, I weighed in this morning and the scale said I am back up to my original starting weight. Sigh. Ok. You all can see my goals for the week in the tracking space, but I'd love it if you would use the comment space on this post to tell me YOUR goals, so we can report back next Monday. I'm sure I'll have something whiney to say throughout the week, but Monday will be the official weigh in day.

Also, I have decided NOT to do Weight Watchers again. I know that I probably should, as it has some of the best support in the medical and research communities, but I ordered a book about "Volumetrics" which is basically learning to fill up on fruits and veggies to avoid feeling super hungry. Why I needed a book to learn that, I don't know. I also looked for Wii Fit this past weekend, but those things are sold out everywhere.

Diet Row Inmate

Like a woman on death row, I am using today (and yesterday) as my "last meal" days, which is dumb, I know. I ate fast food breakfast today - one of my inner fatso's favorites (mmmm. greasy), and yesterday had Culver's frozen custard. I made Chinese food last night - cashew chicken. It's a boxed kit from the grocery store (Wanchai Ferry), and it was pretty darn good after I added some carrots. I'd like to make it again and add celery and mushrooms. But no amount of veggie additions will make that stuff healthy, I think. But it was goooood. It's like that chubby slug is shuffling toward her prison sentence, devouring all the junk she can find along the way.

That New Shoe Smell

I bought myself new running shoes. They're like a promise to myself. Here I come, hamster wheel!

Resolve

Happy 2009, everyone! Did you all make resolutions? I did not. I should, though. But I am hoping to regain my resolve for exercise. And, yeah, I know I am going to have to do more than "hope" for that. It's like saying I'm going to "try" to work out. Um, I either work out or I don't; right?! The only way one can say they "tried" to work out is if they went to the gym, got up to the exercise equipment and a hoard of meatheads swarm them, grunting loudly and dropping weights on their head. OR if you got to the gym and developed sudden explosive diahrrea. Both would constitute valid effort ("tried"), but were interrupted by external (or internal) forces that were beyond your control. Every other valid effort ("try") would end up in success (actual workout completed), and therefore cease to be a "try" situation. Got me? There is not much room for "try" or "hope" here - but plenty of room for "do."

I want to know why I have such a tough time sticking with these healthy habits! I am able to get on the wagon. I have done it several times. And it sucks to high heaven, I must say. It is considerably difficult for me to get through the first couple of weeks adjustment from sloth to activity. So, why do I quit? Why do I allow "a couple of days off" to turn into months? What is the matter with me???! The only framework I have for understanding this is an addiction standpoint (since I have some experience in treating addiction) - I do well for a while and my warped fatso brain starts talking at me again - "It's ok. You look fine! You can take a few days off. It's only a couple of pounds; no big deal..." Like my own personal crack dealer in my head, peddling spare tires and badonkadonks that LOOK like innocent cookies and cheeseballs, and LOOK like a nice evening knitting on the couch.

Crap crap crap! And it's not like I am unaware. This is pure insanity, folks. If you have ever been in therapy or are a mental health professional or are friends with a mental health professional (I think that is all of you, right?), you have heard the definition of insane behavior: Doing the same thing and expecting different results. So, my analysis is that my resolve is only shallow and this has been my main problem. I am committed to a diet, but not a lifestyle change. I consider my efforts temporary solutions to temporary problems, but I think the reality is that it is a PERMANENT problem (damnit all, anyway!) and requires a permanent solution. In addiction terms: I have admitted a problem, but not accepted that it is a part of my very fiber.

So, how do I change? How to use this fanatastic wisdom? It's simple, I think. Just do it. Stupid Nike had it right. Get on the treadmill, do some workout tapes. Quit whining about time and do it. Track things, work out, etc etc. I also recall something in my addiction work (recall it quite clearly, actually) about asking for help. That's right - I'm flat out asking. Will you all help me? I will blog, and I will track, but I need your help. Dorky as it seems, I would like to ask you to ask me how things are going - to cheer me on when I am doing well, and NOT help out my fatso voice with things like, "Oh, you're fine." Ok? Anyone? Is this mic working?

This blog brought to you by my inner skinny bitch. She has seen the carnage fatso voice has created and she is pissed. She is fighting Jaba the Hut, and thanks you for your support.