Rules of Dieting

That I have Just Made Up....

Here forward, these shall be the official rules of dieting, because I said so.

1) Any change in exercise, whether it is adding some, increasing intensity, trying something new or stepping foot in a gym = 1 pound lost

2) Any use of the phrase, "No thank you," in response to an offer for an extra treat = 1/2 pound lost

3) Any week of healthy eating = automatic 3 pound loss with extras lost for other rules followed

4) Any lettuce-based salad consumed as a meal where the dip-your-fork-in-the-dressing method is utilized = 1 pound lost

5) Any time dessert is not ordered and you only take a bite of someone else's = 1 pound lost

6) Any time you pick up a bag of chocolates at the store and put them back on the shelf before checkout = 1 pound lost

7) Any time you skip dessert at a pot luck, funeral or buffet = 2 pounds lost

8) All eating on major holidays, birthdays, promotions, or times of great stress = no weight gain

9) Any weight lost during an illness is banished and not allowed to ever return to it's origin, unless the origin invites it back formally.

There you have it. If only it were this way, dieting would be much more rewarding in the short term.