Tis the Season of Regirth

Oof. I keep eating cookies and peanut clusters and tooo muuuuch foooood. And tonight I am headed to a cookie exchange, where I pawn off cookies I have baked for a variety of things that others have made. MORE things to add to the Christmas of Gluttony '08. Oof. I love the holidays, don't get me wrong, but I'm really kind of ready to quit eating junk. Who said that? It may have been the skinny healthy bitch in my head who likes running and eating salads. Hang in there bitch, you'll get your turn to reign the roost after the first of the year.

Diet number 407 pending on January 5, 2009. This one involves coworkers and money. I'm also hoping Santa brings me a Wii Fit. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Facebook Wonder

I joined Facebook after months of bah-humbugging the whole notion. I don't know what compelled me to do it beyond curiosity (and I recall something about death and cats being associated with that motive). But I am really enjoying it, mostly because I have been able to reconnect with so many people that I haven't talked to in YEARS. Seriously, people I haven't seen in 17 years or so, and there they are, reaching out to me via the curious snowball effect thing that is Facebook.

But, there are also strange things afoot in Facebooktopia. First, you refer to yourself in third person. What the...? We're all participating in Seinfeld folly, apparently. To tell people what you are doing in the moment, you finish the stem, "Mia is..." and can erase the "is"and just start with "Mia." e.g. Mia is full from eating steak dinner at Sahm's. Mia's intestines do not know what to do with steak, really. Mia is grossed out that she even mentioned that. Mia thinks it is weird to refer to herself as Mia.

Another odd Facebook pheonom is all of the little things people "send" each other virtually. Like, "John just threw a snowball at Mia", or "bought her a drink." Um, but not really. There are all of these little gadgets and gizmos and fanclubs and weird crap that I just don't get. I think they are the entertainment at the Facebook nightclub. Like a virtual all-friend class reunion where it's fun to sit around for a while and go, "Hey! Great to see you! What have you been up to? I do this for a living, these are my kids... oh, uh huh, that's interesting about you..." and then you need booze and a dance floor to have something to do.

And I also do not understand the indiscriminate friend gatherers. I think some people out there are just collecting friends like they are baseball cards, without a thought in the world about whether or not they really like the person or even know them. I got friend requests from people in my siblings' classes or from other classes from my high school and I don't even really know them. Maybe they are having a contest to see how many former band dorks they can collect as Facebook friends, or to see if they can get the matched set of me and my siblings. I like the "ignore" button.

So, if you are out there in Facebook land, look me up. Mia is done blogging today.

Down with Slutty Dolls!

I just heard that Bratz will not longer be in production! I am so happy about that! I have never liked those big-headed vixen-eyed ho-bag dolls! We have one at our house that has some snap-on clothes, and it is the least slutty of any of them that my mother could find. Oh, and some baby Bratz mermaids for the tub. And my daughter likes them. And I have consented to these in my home, but did not allow for there to be a barrage of these way-too-sexy creatures lying around with their come-hither fixed gazes. So, to hear that they may be on the way out the door... "hooray!" says I.

Workout Music

I need music to work out. As implied in my poem, I am an avid user of my IPod while exercising. I have several workout tapes and the main reason for not using them is that the music is horrible. Not just horrible but annoyingly horrible. And the people are all enthusiastic, which is even worse. As if exercise was not enough suffering all by itself, I must be tortured by their cheery fake-ass spandexy selves and the horrid music.

I thought I would take a moment to share my workout favorites of the moment, and ask for your submissions to the list. Your input can help to keep me company and motivated on my hamster wheel.

The Way I Are - Timbaland
Everything's Magic - Angels & Airwaves
Just Like Heaven - The Cure
Rainy Monday - Shiny Toy Guns
Always Be - Jimmy Eat World
In the Beginning - The Stills
No One - Alicia Keys
Shadow Stabbing - Cake
One Thing Leads to Another - The Fixx
With Me - Sum 41 (you gotta get past the intro on this one - about a minute)
The First Single - The Format
Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence
Forever - Chris Brown
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
Just Dance - Lady GaGa
It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down
Check Yes Juliet - We the Kings
Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack
The New Workout Plan - Kanye West
Beautiful Day - U2

Hamster Wheel

An Ode to my Treadmill, By Mia

The road to nowhere
but traveled nonetheless.
Hamster on her own private wheel.

Numbers glaring red at her.
Taunting with the time
moving slowly.
Especially when she is going nowhere.

And yet she is moving
Away from guilt.
Away from the cookies in the jar.

Staring at the room in front of her.
Huffing and puffing.
Glaring at the numbers glaring at her.
Thanking God for Ipods.

Pinchy Pants Disease

I have a case of pinchy pants disease. The disorder where your pants spend most of the day reminding you of the two cookies you ate at lunch, giving you visions of the dust buildup on your treadmill. It's no fun at all. A friend suggested the "bigger pants" cure, which is worse than the disease I think.

In response, I have retreated to my treadmill in an attempt to outrun the pinchy pants. I also have decided that treats that are not fabulous will go in the trash after the first taste. If it is not fantastic, it's not worth the time on the treadmill. Normally this would help a lot, but it's holiday season and fabulous treats will be invading my life consistently for the next month. Plus, I am not that picky, and fantastic is a relative term. Heck, I once thought Snack Wells chocolate marshmallow cookies were fantastic (mid-diet, of course), when we all know those are just about as tasty as sawdust and cocoa mixed together.

Be prepared, all. A new year is dawning, and once I conquer Pinchy Pants-itis, I will be on to the Cute for Spring Campaign that will be focused more on exercise than diet this year. May the force be with me.

I Didn't Win

Today on the MSN homepage, they had a list of top 12 or so "lamest blogs" on the web. They promised that no blog was too obscure to escape their scrutiny, so I clicked on the link with some trepidation. Hooray! My blog did not win! And they picked some humdingers, some of which they chastized for too few postings (none since 2006). So, beware, fellow bloggers - those MSN writers are just bored enough to spend hours perusing the blogopshere looking for your outdated blog, ready to slap you with a Lame-O award.