Bottomlesspititis

I have a disease, I think. I contracted it while on vacation, I think, in a contaminated ice cream cone (giant waffle cone). Or perhaps the virus was burried in the dried beef and olive dip smeared on Triscuits. Whatever the source, I seem to have fallen victim to Bottomlesspititis, disease where one becomes a fountain of hunger with no real satisfaction gained from normal sustinance. It is a horrid disease, and I think the cure is to either eat until one pukes, or to fast for a day or seven. Both cures sound unpleasant.

I'm hungry.

Motivation Photos

My brother is going to school to be a personal trainer (I believe I have mentioned that in one of my rants about my fitness-crazy family), and before he did so, he worked at an internet service provider office watching movies and telling old people how to work their internet. He fell prey to many of the same office pitfalls that many of us suffer: The Breakroom - full of cake for someone, cookies brought in from the old people who can now get photos of their grandkids thanks to my brother's advice, and Out For Lunch - burgers and fries anyone? So, he and a friend made a bet to get in shape, and this started his rise to health. For the longest time, and maybe still today, he carried a photo in his wallet for motivation. Not a photo of some buff dude from the cover of men's health, but a photo of himself looking quite dapper in a gray suit coat but with double chin and pudgy gut. Any time he was tempted to get fast food or eat junk in the breakroom, he looked at that photo. A good idea, no?

I have threatened myself with "motivation photo" in the past, planning to put on my bikini and stand on flat feet, no makeup, thighs squished together square to the camera in true "before" photo pose. I have not done so, mostly out of fear. Well, after vacation I went through my photos, and low and behold someone grabbed my camera and managed to get photos of me in my swim suit. And there is even a photo of me wakeboarding WITH MY GUT HANGING OVER MY SUIT BOTTOMS AND PEEKING OUT THE BOTTOM OF MY LIFEJACKET!!!!! I believe I have found my motivation photo. gross.

From the Mouths of Babes

My five year old child touched my gut last week and asked if I was going to have another baby. Great. And I was feeling thin and foxy that day! I shrugged it off, thinking her comment only due to the fact that Sahm is preggers and maybe she was hoping I was too. Nope. I put on my exercise gear last night, ready for a quick run when the same angelic imp put her hands on my midsection and said, "See mamma? Your tummy is big so you are going to have another baby." I noted that my stomach is NOT that big and that I am NOT going to have another baby, and she argued with me, "See though? It's round like you're going to have a baby."

Thank you, sweetie, now go out and play in traffic.

I ran really fast last night and did not stop to walk at all. stupid stomach.

I Needs Me Some More Larnin'

I am going back to school! My profile indicates that I am a psychologist, which means I already have maxed out on school in one subject area. Well, that's just not enough for me, so I am pursuing some more edumacation. The last time I took any sort of formal test was in 2003, so I must say the prospect of studying and turning in assignments and all of that nonsense is a bit scary. I like the idea of gaining knowledge, but am dreading the process to some degree. Hey! That's a lot like my pursuit of smaller pants - I like the idea of thinness but not the process to obtain it.

So you will all understand, of course, if my posts become bitchier (is that possible?) and less frequent. I am also going to be doing battle with that instinct I have that says one should eat junk foods when stressed out. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

Time to De-Vacation

Vacation fat has attached itself to me, but not in the vast quantities predicted. I warded it off with some good doses of exercise if not self-restraint at the trough. Now, to get back into "healthy living" mode. That is proving to be a tough task. Also, I am getting bored with running, which is no good. I will not quit, however, and I will work on adding some sort of muscle-building/toning stuff.