The "f" Word

On our Thanksgiving trip to my in-laws, my adorable 4-year-old imp of a girl told her grandmother that she is fat. FAT! I can hear you all (ha! "you all" - the two entire people who even know this dumb blog exists!) sucking in your breath, then the gasp, followed by, "Oh no!" and the hand flying to cover your mouth. The hand over your mouth was to stiffle the giggles, right? It's horrifying and hella funny all in the same moment. MUCH less funny if it is your 4-year-old and your mother-in-law. Well, anyways, the 4-year-old was admonished and told that isn't a nice thing to say. She proceded to apologize and then note, "Grandma, your tummy is big and squishy, but Mommy's tummy is skinny, Daddy is skinny....." Oh the horror. I tried to cover quickly by saying something about the wonderful meal we just ate and how the diahrrea-mouthed kid had a nice round tummy also because of the great food and aren't we all lucky to be healthy and full. (no, I did not call my four-year-old "diahrrea-mouth" to her face. sheesh, that was just for effect here)

"Not a nice thing to say." That has got my gears a-grinding. But don't we all say it? Isn't it true for some folks? What's the PC word, here? "Rotund?" "Plump?" "Well-nourished?" "Girthy?" I know there was one shopping trip (ok most of the shopping trips) where my sisters, mother and I banish the word "fat" from the day. You can squeek by by referring to yourself as "Large Marge" (sorry to all the Marges out there in the world, but...), or if you are extra lucky, "Extra-large Marge," but one year we tried to ban that too, and say "L for Lovely, or Extra-Lovely" in which case M = mediochre and S = stupidly skilly.

The thing is, I know that my child heard that word from ME, not me referring to others, mind you, but to myself. My spouse is guilty also, but oh my goodness, I forget to treat that like the other "f" word, and really don't think about how "not nice" it is to referr to myself in that way. But I feel it some days. And I say it to myself often, probably too often, without batting an eye. No gasps of horror that the word came out of my mouth, and I would feel just AWFUL if someone else said it to me/about me. And I know I am not alone here, people. So, now that I have this lightbulb moment, what shall I do with it? Probably nothing, but perhaps try to focus more on healthy habits instead of fat. I'm working on it, and with some success, demonstrated by same said four-year-old asking me if I was going to exercise and sadly saying, "But it's healthy and I want you to be healthy!" when I told her "no."