That Really Chaps My Ass

No.. really. I went to Spinning class this morning, and aside from being a sweaty-good workout, the hardest part was figuring out how to get comfortable on that bike seat without risk of some sort of injury that might prohibit proper toileting practices, marrital relations (better excuse than headache, though - "Not tonight, I went to Spinning this morning."), or complying with any request to stick-it-where-the-sun-don't-shine (not that I comply with that one anyway). I might invest in real biker shorts - the ones with padding.

But then I did have something that rubbed me the wrong way in more of a "pissed off" sense. My darned spouse came home last night at 11:30 from golfing and decided that there were many topics we needed to discuss and then got huffy when I started dozing off around 12:30. Um, I am going to exercise in 5 hours!! Sheesh. Then I was huffy with him this morning while struggling to haul my soon-to-be-chapped ass out of bed. Good thing I went to Spinning class and took out my frustrations on the bike.

Crazy Lady

My sister, Sahm, has turned into a crazy person! This past weekend we were together with my other sister and preparing to work out. Ok, first off, the guys were going golfing, so then in turn we get to pick some sort of get-out-of-the-house-without-kids activity. We choose exercise. Not lunch or shopping or spa treatments or even golfing ourselves, but exercise. Ok.

As if this is not crazy enough, Sahm pipes up in our planning meeting with, "I'd really like to work out for two hours..." What?!! What did you just say?!! You'd LIKE to work out for TWO HOURS consecutively? Like that is a big hope or wish where you grit your teeth together with hands clasped near your heart and give the other person puppy dog eyes? But wait, there is MORE craziness... she then talked about doing cardio stuff followed by 20 minutes of ab work (at which point I literally said, "Who are you?!! I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth!") and some other toning or some such nonsense.

On which alternative planet did I just land? When did my family become fitness buffs? When did working out for two hours become our entertainment? I guess I should be happy, but mostly I am just confused. I'll just have to accept my new role as the one tagging along and dropping back in the pack, muttering under her breath the whole time or complaining loudly in response to each new level of craziness that ensues. Sheesh.

Kettlebells and Spinning

Look out! I'm going to try some new exercises in an attempt to break out of my rut/funk. I went to Kettlebell class this morning, and it was pretty good. I will go back. I liked the instructor a lot, and besides that my workout buddy was there (so faithful, Lisa). My workout buddy has also tried Spinning and encouraged me to try it, like a good workout buddy should. So, I signed up and will go on Friday.

If only I would stick with something instead of starting new things all the time and feeling like I "start over" with the feelings of incompetence and such. If only...

As Seen On TV

I like those infomercials that are shorter and to-the-point. You know, like the old OxyClean ones and the ShamWow ones. I want a ShamWow. Why? I don't know, cuz that commercial is so convincing that it is the best darn shamois (did I spell that correctly?) on the planet, I think I should have one.

Well, WalMart has a whole row of stuff you find on those commercials. They have the little puff-pancake pan thingy that my kids want me to get ("But Mom, you can fill them with pudding!!"), the pedi-egg, and that thing that buffs away your leg hair and moustache. They also have the Strap Perfect, and I bought one. Sucker = me.

What is the Strap Perfect? (Seriously? You don't know?) It is a thing that you hook on to your bra straps to get them to be hidden under various configurations of tops where your bra straps normally hang out for the world to see. AND, the commercial says it makes your boobs look bigger. Since you all know that I have wanted to buy some bigger boobs, you can see the appeal. I have used it once, and it was pretty good. My straps were certainly hidden, but I don't know about that second claim... Tune in next week when I buy the Magic Bullet and start making a bunch of fruit smoothies every day.

First Out the Gate

I bought a swimming suit!!! Can you believe it? I was NOT going to try them on this past weekend when I went shopping. However, while wandering through the first store I was in, there were some suits on the racks and I decided to try one on. And, much to my surprise, I did not hate how I looked it in. So I bought it. Then tried it on later for my mom, and she confirmed that it was a good suit, distracting from the not-so-great and emphasizing the pretty-good. I can't believe I bought the first one I tried on. It's a summer miracle!

Good Intentions and Some Road

I meant to go to the gym this morning, but life, once again, interfered. Where the heck does that road go that is paved with good intentions? H-e-double where?

Nose Tampons

I have a sinus problem. The problem is that my sinuses are full of crud and this condition will not seem to resolve itself. ERRG!! It's so gross! My throat hurts all of the time. I am coughing a ton, my ears are popping, and my nose is runny. I would like to invent some nose tampons that you could just put in your nose for about 5 minutes, and then remove them with clean sinuses and no more sniffles. Obviously not something to be worn or used in public, but it's got to be better than sanding my nose off with tissues.

Just... eh.

I went to the gym this morning (good job, me. why, thank you.) I hopped on the bike and pedaled for about 35 minutes while reading a magazine on fitness for inspiration. Then I went and did some weight training for another 15 to 20 min. And how did I feel afterwards? Just.. eh.

I'm thinking about doing the pilates "reformer" training sessions. I just seem to need someone there to push me. Also, kettlebell class starts next Wednesday morning and I intend to go. I think group fitness is better for me cuz I work out harder. The pool at the Y is also supposed to be done soon. Maybe I could swim. I used to love to do that (see posting on crazy thoughts - I think I'll be able to just jump in and swim across the whole pool under water), and it is supposed to be great exercise.

I just wish I could find an exercise that I really like to do, and would feel sort of incomplete when I skip workouts. As of now I have a few I don't mind, and when I skip I only feel hungry. Actually, that last part happens whether I work out or not. Anyway, I'm waiting for "Yay!" and not "just..eh."

Crazy Thoughts

In my youth, I was a very active little thing. I took gymnastics for about six years, and rode my bike all over tarnation. I was also fond of the bars at recess - I think they were made to do some pullups, but we used them to hang upside down and spin around and such. I was a swimming fool, doing treading-water contests and playing Marco Polo and Shark. I was FIT.

The thing is, these days, not so fit. More fat than fit, and fffft. BUT, on occasion, my body thinks it should be able to do those same things that I did in my glorious little history. Like, I think I should just be able to do a series of back walkovers across my lawn.

Occasionally, I will try these things, and my body knows what to do, but my logical brain screams at me: "HEY!! YOU DON'T BEND LIKE THAT ANYMORE!!" It is sad to say that cartwheels hurt me, though I can still do one. I can also still stand on my head. I'm too chicken to try a walkover of any sort. I can still do a backflip off the diving board, but I believe that most people would kick my hind end in a treading-water contest and I would be the "shark" until the other kids got sick of playing. I can ride my bike, but not up huge hills. And I CAN flip over backwards on some hanging rings off the swingset. I cannot flip back the other direction, and I will not try to get on those bars and swing myself around for fear of internal injury.

So, even though I know, intellectually, my limitations, I imagine I will continue to be plagued by crazy thoughts of dashing across the lawn in a spectacular round-off back-handspring. Where's my Haldol?

Funkadelic

I am in a funk. It's official. Blah. Let's all hope it passes quickly.

I have been M.I.A from the gym because I can't get enough sleep. I have a chronic sinus problem that is really bogging me down, though I got some meds today. I start out with healthy food choices each day, only to mess it up somehow. I got my picture taken with a group today, a side shot, and have discovered that my ass is astronomically big. Drat.

So, on the roller coaster of my healthy living thing, I'm definitely on the down side of things. I'm crabby and whiney. It's not a pretty picture. I promise not to stay here long. But, thought I'd let you know what's up, cuz it kinda explains my lack of blogging lately.