She's Here!!

My sister had her baby and it's a girl!! Hooray! Another woman born into the world. I can't wait to see her grow and change and just be fantastic. Way to go, Sahm.

And on a side note, my inner bitch reared its ugly head today and started whispering in my ear about how Sahm will soon be back to body fantastic (she will argue with this bitch in my head) so I should get back on the stick about exercise.

More on my inner bitch later. For now I fed her a cookie and told her to shut up. There's a baby to snuggle.

Imperative People

There are certain people in life without whom we could not live very well. I consider my family in that category. I also consider physicians in this category. I mean, I could figure out how to do a lot of things on my own (fight a fire, fix the plumbing, build a house,etc.) but I do not think I can figure out how to do surgery on myself.

The third person on my list of imperatives - my hairstylist. Not just any hairstylist, but mine. I'd be ok with another one as long as they were as good or better than the one I have now. I suppose I could go without a cosmetologist and just grow my hair to my ass, but for those of you who understand the craziness that is my hair, I think you'll agree that it wouldn't be pretty at all.

I just got my hair cut and colored yesterday and I really like it. When I like my hair, I feel confident, others perceive me in a positive fashion and life just goes well. Set me up with some schmoe who can't cut a straight line or who does not understand how to tame the beast that grows from my scalp, and boom, there goes my confidence and my public approval rating plumets. It's important stuff, I tell you! Just put your face on one of those virtual hairdo things and "try on" some bad hairdos and you'll see how important a good stylist is. Agree? Disagree? Feel free to discuss, as well as add any other "imperatives" you think I might have missed. Seriously, I think I covered the top three.

Hibernation: Wouldn't It Be Great?

Apparently I am under the delusion that humans hibernate in the winter and therefore must spend their autumn months foraging for food and overstuffing themselves for the lean times ahead. Seriously! I have been a ravenous hog lately! Wouldn't it be great, though, if you really could spend a month pigging out and then sleep for several weeks and wake up thin? I know, it's no good doing "whouldn't it be great" statements, cuz they don't really help anything except appease my escapist side. You know, because once you get started with "wouldn't it be great"s, the end is hard to find.

Wouldn't it be great... (my favorites)
if ice cream prevented cancer
if men got pregnant and had babies
if I were a rock star
if I had a working magic wand, or at least a Fairy Godmother
if running was actually fun
if Brad Pitt left Angelina to be my manslave
if there was a Target in my town

Feel free to add your favorites as well....

Baby Fever

Sahm's baby will be born in less than 20 days, and I am SO EXCITED! I want to buy diapers and tiny onesies and all of that baby crap. And she has honored me by allowing me in the delivery room if I would like to be there. That's beyond awesome. The only problem is that I will have to fight the urge to grab that baby and run for the hills, because I have been jonesin for one of my own lately. Crap, she's probably going to read this and ban me from the hospital now. I promise I can control myself!!

Many of you may be shocked to hear me say that I have been pining for that baby smell (no, not the poopy smell, the freshly-washed baby smell), and will soon start encouraging me to go ahead and have another one of my own. Well, you are all barking up the wrong tree there. Despite my wistful sighs at the thought of having a baby to cuddle and watch grow up, I have absolutely zero desire to be pregnant. I am one of those women who get huge, and retain water to the point of beyond cankles - I just have two tree trunks for legs on which to balance the rest of my round body. And beyond the avoidance of the unpleasantries of pregnancy, there is a very impractical nature to my baby fever. My kids are both in school, and they are nearly six years apart as it is. If I had another one, it would be about, oh, six years younger than it's nearest sibling and 12 years younger than the eldest one. Good grief! We could win a prize for longest length of child-rearing with fewest number of children. "Yep, we were raising kids for 30 years. What? No, we didn't have 10 children, just three!" The youngest one would turn 18 when my older child turned 30. That's just nuts.

So, I'll just rejoice in the fact that Sahm is good at sharing, and borrow her baby when I need a fix. so thanks, Sahm, for enduring pregancy, childbirth, financial responsibility increase and sleep deprivation and STILL being willing to share.

Recipe for Instant Conflict

Just add politics and religion!!

You know, my family also has a blog where we all write and keep in touch and post pictures of our kids and stuff. Fun! Nice! What a loving family! The blog includes my aunts and uncles and cousins on one side of the family, and we're really a pretty tight knit group. And, of course, we have our little eye-rolling moments about one another from time to time. Some of us grumble about the wallflowers of the group who rarely post on there when the rest of us are doin our best to keep involved in lives that are scattered across the country. But, we had this election thing the other day (in case you didn't notice the pleasant reduction in political ads in the middle of Dancing With the Stars, and the huge disruption in having to wait an extra day to get that untalented waif Susan Lucci kicked off the show - eat a sandwich, for Pete's sake and get off the dance floor!). And there have been a few political comments on the family blog and now it is all tense and junk. Damnit, don't we all know by now that the fastest way to tension is to add some politics and a dash of religion?! Rest assured, folks, neither topic will be showing its face on this blog. I blog in peace....