It's So Easy Being Green

Kermit had it all wrong, I tell you. It is easy to be green - with envy, that is. It's hard for me not to be constantly comparing myself to others, especially my sisters, who are both gorgeous (check one out at the blog labeled "that's whack" and see for yourself). Both of them work out religiously, (recall my mention of them being fitness instructors) so I should not be envious. They are not one of those bitches who can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound (sorry, bitches-who-can, but that's my word for you) But I envy. A lot.

What spouted my latest green streak? The fact that I weight watchered myself crazy last week, and worked out three times and only lost a half a pound, which I could do by taking a crap. How does this relate to my envy? Hang on, I'm getting there - so impatient, you readers. I went and visited my fitness crazy brother over the weekend, and was so restrained in my eating, or so I thought. I did not snack, despite being in the mall with Cinnabons, cookies and cinnamon sugar pretzels. I ate a chicken wrap with no dressing, avoiding the Chik-fil-a waffle fries and chicken club sandwich that I love. When dining out, I only ate half of the chicken, downed my salad, and ate three slices of potato, taking the rest to-go and giving it to my baby bro. We DID go and get spinach and artichoke dip, but left a good portion of chips and half of the dip on the plate. I did not order popcorn at the movies, and chewed gum instead. I had three drinks that day (darn empty calories!). Ok, so a few indisgressions, but overall there was restraint! sacrifice! moderation! good judgment! On Sunday we went for breakfast, and I had a soufle and a bagel (which I knew were high points, but most things at Panera are high points) and then only a low-fat balogna sandwich the entire rest of the day. !!! The goodness on my part continues!

So... my sister let me know that she pigged out all weekend. Buffet breakfast with chocolate cake. And I know she did it up right - like I would do if I could get away with it. And she can get away with it!! She will gain a couple of pounds, but lose those plus another couple by the end of the week because of her workout schedule. Color me green.

And green about all of their workout schedules, ESPECIALLY (somehow - totally unfair and I know it) my sister Sahm (names changed to protect the innocent). She's the one who indulged in the buffet. She works out five days per week, at least 90 minutes a pop. Why should this make me jealous? Because she does it after rousing from her bed-nest at about 9:00 a.m., then getting herself and kids around to go to the Y where she exercises guilt-free while her children are in the daycare room. My other sister does daycare in her home, so has a slightly bigger challenge, and my brother works but has no kids so he can just go to the gym right after work.

And I know that my life is good. And that they wish they had some of the things that I have (career that I love). But DAMN IT! My work out options, and at this point I am convinced that the power of exercise is phenomenal in the realm of keeping one's weight low, are for shit - 6 a.m. or 9 p.m. So I have to then eat nothing, pretty much, and deal with crappy workout times to avoid being "the fat sibling."

So there it is, my green rant. Love does not envy? In my case it does. You may all go and murmur to yourselves about what a terrible person I am now.

Ode to Cindy Lauper

I went back to Weight Watchers. And this time, instead of cheating and using my sister's materials, I paid for the friggin membership. And somehow, Cindy Lauper was right: Money Changes Everything. I PAID to use a tracking system to kick myself back into healthy eating habits and exercise habits. I paid to do something that I have done succesfully "on my own" at least twice before. But, somehow that seems to have provided the motivation to buckle down and actually do this. (Instead of talking about doing it and then bitching about fat clothes and how I need a boob job - both still legit stances upon which to bitch.)

I am doing the online thing, and let it be known to the fellow WW crew that I have this blog (we'll see if they check it out and then boot me from the program for my sarcastic attitude and potty mouth).

I made it through one day successfull, and am a good chunk of the way through the second. Maybe I am back on track! My clothes sure hope so - they are pinching me as a reminder to get rid of the buffalo butt and muffin top gut. Buffalo Butt and Muffin Top Gut - my new theme song, perhaps.

January Binge-a-Thon

Hostess Cupcakes are evil, I swear. EEEE-vil! So moist, so chocolatey with that refreshing and sweet cream filling and perfect frosted top. Damn them!! So you can guess how well my New Year's diet is going.

PMS is a bitch and my master all at the same time. Of course that is how my New Year had to start, right? With PMS!! My hunger knows no limit, my stomach no full-line. It is horrifying. So, instead of 2008 beginning with dedication, devotion, exercise and salad, it began with a couple of days of moderation and then a full-on pigfest of oinker proportions. I consumed the evil cupcakes. My hormonal body also demanded fast food breakfast, so I obliged. After lunch, I had a candy bar, some fudge and a piece of caramel with pecans. I topped it all off with some fried cheese. So, I guess anything will be a successful improvement after this. sigh

In better news: I have been doing toning exercises daily. I went to the gym today and put in 35 minutes on the elipse and then did some work on the machines. Ta-dah!! Not enough to combat the nasty binge, but... it's something.