Day Three

Day three... why do the days drag on a diet? What is that about? And why does it take so long to lose weight? It sure didn't seem like it took too long to gain it. The time flew when I was blissfully scarfing down crispy onion rings and gooey bars. But on a diet, I wake up and I'm thinking, "Ug. Ok, it's only day three." I wade through my day and quietly munch on my high fiber cereal, my lean chicken, and sigh as I pass the champagne cake in the cafeteria cooler. Still, the scale was kind to me today (see tracking section) and I have been faithful to the plan. The scale bit: it could be due to "dropping some brownies off at the pot luck" (if you get my drift) and just being hungry and empty. No real weight loss. No reduction in the jiggle factor. No exercise today, either. I WILL do three days this week, though. I will.

Taps

Day is done... gone the sun... and I did not eat garbage tody!! I journaled and counted like a good girl, and had 17 points today. I can have 18 to 23 per day, and I am not going for that last point because it is now after 8 p.m. and there is no good reason to eat now. My husband is dieting along with me, and his major victory was that his boss' mother brought in homemade cookies and he turned them down. I admire him for the victory, but loathe him at the same time. He did not eat enough today, and he'll lose weight twice as fast as me, even if he ate the 10 more points worth of food that he is supposed to eat. That is all kinds of wrong, I tell you.

The First Day

Today is the first day of my 500th damn diet. You would think by the age of 34 that a reasonably bright woman, such as myself, would have figured out that one cannot become thin and stay that way if you stop excercising and eat any food that tickles your fancy at every hour of wakefulness. You would think that. I would, too. So, why then do I do this stupid yo-yo dance with the scale and my feelings of self-confidence? I know how to eat to be healthy and at a weight that does not make clothes shopping a trauma experience. But it is not how I would like to eat. I would like to eat until I am feeling nauseated and then eat again in two hours. That's just nuts. And I know nuts, as I am a mental health professional. I know that many of you feel my pain, and live it in your own lives. Check out Dottie's Weight Loss Zone if you are feeling alone (http://www.dwlz.com/) - a plus-sized woman who Weight Watchered herself down to flat stomach status, and then climbed back up the scale to only pose in photos while hiding behind her spouse. Any of you have those photos? Dottie is "back on track" and I am trying to be, albeit grouchily. That's why I decided to blog - it's venting, really.

I need to get my good attitude back. I used to have one, when I was thinner. I felt powerful, energized, even happy. I did not need sweets, did not want grease, and enjoyed my salad with chicken and my Boca burgers. I worked out four days per week if not more, and it was an hour of serious sweating. I enjoyed the workouts, and felt like crud if I didn't do them. I did not make up reasons for skipping like I do now. None of this "Oh, I already showered." or "Well, I am really tired." and certainly not, "Geez, I can't wait until this is over," while doing the workout. That person is captured neatly on my driver's license - a crazy place for a good photo, but it's where the healthy me is at her best. I moved to a new state, and have to get a new license. I am going to ask that they cut the photo off for me so I can save it for inspiration.

So, here we go, folks. Day one of getting me back - the good me, the me that I am proud of and who comes home from shopping trips with things she cannot wait to wear, not just stuff for the kids or my spouse. I'll track my progress in the "tracking space" and you can all follow along at home. Ready, set, go!!

Weight: 151 lb.
Height: 5' 4"
Long-term Goal: 130 lb. (would love to be 125, really), and stay around that weight
Food eaten today: 1 diet Dr. Pepper; 1 Zone Perfect Bar