Phat, Not Fat

Hi, everyone! I know that by now, this is just me, but it's nice to think that one or two of my 8 followers might still be out there in blogger land. Anyhow, I went back to food journaling through Livestrong.com's "My Plate" weight/food tracker. Have I talked about that tool before? Pretty sure I have. It's free, it's easy, and it works. Nuff said. I find that I am much more mindful of what I put in my mouth when I know I'll be logging that bite soon. I I mean, math is math. There's no cheating, because 2 - 2 is always zero, you know? So, if I am honest about my math, then I'm more effective at balancing the equation. My mind can lie and ignore calories consumed and burned, but my body never does. Tracking cuts the lies and blind bites. You get the point. And, as you can see by the tracking space, it's going ok. This brings me to the point of this blog entry (finally, right?!). I am not fat. I know this. I've said it before. I am not fat, at least not by health standards. My BMI is in the "healthy" range. I'm in the upper ranges of that range, sure, but still within it. So, therefore, I am not fat. Bit, I feel fat. Sometimes. And those times are usually when shopping for clothes. I mean, look at what we have for examples of what the clothes are supposed to look like! MODELS AND MANEQUINS! Um, ok, really? How many of us have those bodies? Not too many. But, I still feel fat when what is presented to me as "appealing" and thin is so very different than what I've got. There are no lumps, folds, or ripples on those examples. And, I'm afraid that I just am not ever gonna look like that, and then will always feel fat. Even though I am not fat. Back to my food journal.... Because, maybe that "afraid I won't look like that" is just more lies , excuses and blind eyes. Maybe I could if I really ate like those models ate and did the math correctly. But what if I don't want to live like that? Does that make me fat? Lazy? Or just independent and confident? I'm afraid I do not have an answer to that. Frickin MANEQUINS.......